When A Liberal Met A Control Freak

There are two types of people in the world: liberal or control freak. The first type is usually artistic, fun, spontaneous, highly emotional and spiritual. However, they are lack of discipline and focus. They easily get lost in their personal hobbies, relationships/affairs, real or unreal dreams. They don’t know when to stop. “CANNOT HELP” are their favorite excuse.

Control freak is totally the opposite. They clearly know what they want to do and who they want to be. They are well organized and always prepared. They work very hard to get everything under their control: career goals, relationships and family. They are the materialists. They can be boring, mean and too aggressive. Sometimes, they might be better off by letting themselves lost. However, they choose to sacrifice more valuable stuff (e.g. time, passion, etc.) just to get things under their control.

When a liberal met a control freak, things usually start off promising. Opposites attract to each other. Straightforward! Once the relationship becomes more and more serious, problems rise. Control freaks want to know where, when, how, whom and what. Their sense of security depends on the level of predictability. A liberal is everything but predictable. Human nature is greedy. We always wish others to give up some of them so that we don’t have to change ourselves. However, no independent individual can give up too long to be happy. Once a liberal feels restricted, and the control freak loses control and sense of security, the relationship is over.

A long long time ago, I thought I was a liberal. I was an A student but never a model student. Born and raised in a liberal family, I never had any problem speaking my mind or doing what I wanted to do (of course, always under money constraints). Then, I realized I WAS a little control freak. I fit all their profiles.

Recent Examples:

1. A few years ago, XP and I were sitting in a nice restaurant at Venice. While looking at the map, we were discussing where to go next. There were an old couple sitting next to us. The old man gave me a big smile and said: “Why don’t allow you to get lost in this beautiful place? It is surrounded by water. You wouldn’t get too far anyway.” “Great idea!” I agreed with him from the bottom of my heart. How romantic! We were in Venice, Italy! I was ignited by the idea of getting lost. However, the moment we stepped out of the restaurant, I couldn’t help checking the map. I just wanted to be sure that every street sign was showing up on the map.

2. My co-worker CC is a lovely American girl. She is very serious about her job, responsible, organized and detail-orientated. She is smart but opinionated. Everyone has to agree with her. See, she fits in the control freak profile perfectly. CC is in her upper thirties, single and has a dog called Lucy. Lucy is her baby. She slapped CC’s face, chewed her shoes and ate bunnies in her neighbor’s yard but never got punished. I told CC that I had hard time understanding people could spoil a dog like that. She said: “Because I love her. When you love somebody, you want her to take control. Have you ever loved somebody?” “Of course I have. But even when I am in love, I still want me to be the one in control!” I replied immediately. Once a control freak, always a control freak. I’m lucky that I realized this at a very early age. Control freaks always think they know even when they actually don’t. That’s probably why CC still has no luck in her personal relationship. After all, Lucy is a dog. Dogs have much smaller ego than human beings.

Yeah, I admit that I am a control freak. Maybe, a control freak with a little liberal spirit.